...the crazy world

Autism - noun - a variable developmental disorder that appears by age three and is characterized by impairment of the ability to form normal social relationships, by impairment of the ability to communicate with others, and by stereotyped behavior patterns

^as defined by Meriam Webster's online dictionary.

Wouldn't it be a better world if that statement were fully true. Is it true?  Yes, absolutely.  Is that all that autism is?  No. Not in my little experience. 

Just because a school is labeled as an autism spectrum disorder school also doesn't mean every student there is going to have a (correct or most prevalent) diagnosis of autism.  Many of the students have emotional behaviors that far out weigh their autistic tendencies.  Some days I am so frustrated and exhausted that I want a sensory break to bang my head on the wall and scream.  Yet something inside me reminds my crazy un-restful soul that they are just kids.  Some could be found in the Children & Youth Services database. Some have great families.  Some have lots of siblings and some only have a few.  Some are above their grade level academically and some are years behind.  But at the end of the day they are just kids.  Normal high school kids that want to do some of the normal high school kid things.  They have crushes; and boy do they fixate on those crushes :) They are hormonal.  They want to drive (scary thought!) and they want to go to prom.  They want to fit in; belong; be head of the pack.  The boys showcase their "manliness" in an attempt to over power the others...sound like a small football team yet?! 9 boys and 1 girl....10 in all.  It's so easy to forget they are just kids yet.  Sure, 19 is "technically" an adult...but experiences differ and he's not ready to be an adult yet. He still needs people to care for him.

Sometimes I forget this. Sad to say, but I think that was our problem the last two days.  I had forgotten that at the core of my teaching belief; the foundation; the reason why I come every day; is the belief that all anyone really needs is a little bit of forgiveness, a decent amount of individual attention & quality time, and a whole lot of love.  Because at the end of the day, do any of use want anything less than that?  Why would my students not need those same things? Today, today I will remember that first and foremost God has called me to love them.  Not to fix them; not to be harsh with them; not to constantly correct their autistic behaviors....but simply to love them as they are.  Encourage them and provide a safe environment when there isn't one anywhere else. 

I feel very overwhelmed in this new world that I find myself in. I love my job.  I am so thankful that in a few weeks I will have my own classroom to decorate, arrange, and teach in.  I don't know if the overwhelmed feeling will be more or less then.

...my wish list...

Today I was able to take a few minutes and create my "wish list" of things I'd like to have in my classroom.  I can hardly contain my excitement about getting my own room!  I know that it's going to be a few crazy days to set up the room, so if anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to them :) I will probably have one or two days to get it all ready!!!!!!!!!!!

On a different note, I am getting a new student tomorrow :) He stopped by for a tour today and seems like a nice kid.  He has a slew of initials that have made there way into his IEP.  What a shame :(  I'm praying he will find his nitche at this place and will be able to control past behaviors in a positive environment.  I feel very unprepared as one of the initials he has been diagnosed with is ODD....I don't know much, but I know that it's frustrating for both the student and teacher.  I keep praying for patience and a whole lot of love that I will have the stability and strength to make him feel welcomed into our class.

That's the news for now :)  One exciting Wednesday coming up....

Happy Teaching!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-M

...it happened!!!

A few days ago (though officially announced today!) I was asked if I would like to stay on staff after finishing   the maternity leave I have been working under now.  ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!  As of December 1st (most likely, though the date is not set in stone) I will have my own classroom at the Autism Academy.

It is going to be crazy.

Most days are exhausting.

I don't really know what I'm doing and if I'm handling each student the best way possible; but I am learning.

I am SO grateful that I have a full time job and I do not have to substitute any more.

I cannot wait to call the local school districts that I had initially thought I would be subbing at and tell them, simply, that I cannot!

Yes, I understand it is a "charter school"; a non-public school; not a private school.  However, it is still a classroom and I am still a teacher who will be given a group of students to teach :)

I will not pass an opportunity up.  I will not turn down a classroom for the sake of "charter school" label.

I will not miss this chance because I am scared of what I don't know....or the exhaustion that is sure to come.

I will know more details in the coming weeks, and I'm certain I'll blog about the transformation of an empty room into my first classroom! I can't wait :)

Any suggestions about setting up a classroom geared for students diagnosed with Autism and/or behavior disorders in a non-public school setting?!?!

What is this I hear about "mood lighting"? Any experiences?

Three weeks in...

Alternative placement. Autistic support. I'm typing while running on an elliptical. Haha stressed? Overwhelmed? Yes to say the least. Most days I have no idea what to do with some of their behaviors... And I have one of the best behaved classes!

Every student is so different from the others. The amount of paperwork needed for each student most days leaves me feeling like I don't do much else. It's a very different environment than public school was

I still struggle with missing my home and my fifth grade job. It was almost magical :) I am thankful for the room I have now but I still remember what last year was and hope that someday I will be there again !

the new "normal"

Most days I still struggle with separating myself from my fifth grade school/class/experience.

But right now I've been blessed with a different kind of opportunity.  I have been given a short term sub position at an Autism Academy.  I'll be teaching a high school support classroom until Thanksgiving vacation.

However, partner teacher pointed out so kindly the other day, it is a charter school.  I knew it wasn't a public school but I didn't go as far into thinking about it as labeling it as a charter school.  So it's a new experience all around for me.

It's a very different environment and I'm starting to adjust to the new rules and systems.  I'm also learning when which kid really needs help and when they are playing the new teacher.  I struggle with juggling ten kids doing ten different things and some needing more motivation than others.

The cool thing is I'm giving some Key Math and DST Reading tests and once I figure out the paperwork I think I'll be good to go :)

Oh, tomorrow they go on their monthly field trip....we're going to play lazer tag and out for lunch!  It's gonna be a fun afternoon!!

Happy Teaching!

and partner teacher said "I was right"...

Yes, yes he was.  In some ways.  To say this summer was not what I expected or planned for it to be would be a mild understatement.  I had given up on being anything but a day to day sub....I figured maybe something long term would come up after Christmas.

Wrong. Wrong again.  Schools around here started this week.  I had heard of an Autism Spectrum Disorder Academy which was opening nearby a few weeks back and had applied for one of their teaching positions; did not hear anything.  I figured I would give them one more call, just in case :)

In nothing other than God's standard way of humbling me and reminding me that He has control and knows what is coming, they needed a shot term substitute with a special education degree :)  OOO That's me!!!!

So two days later I'm sitting in the director's office and she's saying to me "If you tell me you want this job, it's yours and we'll start paperwork today and get you in here next week.  The teacher you are in for is due on September 13th, so we need you here ASAP."  Yes, yes I want this job :)

And so, beginning next week I will be going to an Autism Academy and working in a classroom of 9th - 12th grade students.  The morning is filled with 5 students and the afternoon I will have 10.  To say I am excited is again an understatement.  I am so thankful that God had a place for me here.  I have spent much of my summer frustrated with the timing of everything.....and then I found out why this week.

My first student teaching placement was a 9th - 12th grade Emotional Support classroom....I loved it.  I am so excited to go back to school next week.

If any of you have suggestions for teaching in a high school autistic support room, I'd love to hear them!

Happy Thursday :)

Would you mind sharing your story?

Dear Bloggy World Friends/Teacher Mates,

Will you share your "how I got my first classroom" story?  How long did you substitute teach for? Did you get a masters degree before or after you started?  Did you ever think about giving up and working at WalMart?  How did you finally get that interview that ended with you signing a contract and being handed a set of room keys?

Share away!! I'm in the mood to hear some wonderful stories!
-M

another august...

One year ago I was in the same position....ask my mama.  She was getting daily phone calls, most involved me in tears saying "Mom all I want is to be a teacher and I can't get a job."  She would gently encourage, faithfully each phone call, and told me to keep trying.  "Subbing isn't a failure and it's always an option" she would say.

I had this grand idea that I would get a job when I finished college.  The reality of the present education system (at least in my certification state) quickly set in when all I heard of were furloughs and cut-backs not hiring bubbles!

I kept applying and a neighbor told me about the AmeriCorps SMILES program.  A few of my local districts were looking for people to fill those spots.  So I started down that route.  Through one of these interviews, I walked out with the possibilities of a short term and my long term 5th grade subbing.

What I realized today as I was kindly reminded that it's August 1st, was that interview didn't happen until August 10th last year.  There are still possibilities...ones I may not even know of right now.

My agenda for today: Update online portfolio.
My agenda for tomorrow: Take application packets to schools I want to sub with here. Look at new house a second time; make offer. Go to the local fair with our new friends.

I would be lying if I said I didn't hope deeply this summer would have been different.  I wanted to be planning for a classroom so often!  I think I'm living vicariously through my partner teacher....thankfully he still keeps in touch and fills me in on all he is doing to ready his classroom for this coming year.  I think in a slightly odd way it's given me a bit of energy to keep trying and not give up yet.  I want that...maybe next summer?

If you're readying your classroom or if you're putting it off because who really does want to unpack everything....best of luck :)  I pray you have a smooth start to your year and you feel "first year jitters" and "first year passion" like you haven't for a while :)

Happy teaching :-D

-M

professional portfolio...

Prior to the end of the school year, my partner teacher began to help me organize and create a usable portfolio.  Then we moved...well, kind of moved!  Read about that story here... So, today I started back at it.  Attempting to remember his advice, I created four piles for the four domains.  Three hours later, I  think I have my things sorted and ready to be made pretty.  I realized my life from fifth grade is still in various boxes in my nut hut attic.  I will have to add that chapter of things when I go back to pack it up.  But for now, it's started and that's better than where it was yesterday!

Any suggestions or helpful hints for developing this portfolio thing?!

the first week of summer...

I tearfully and successfully packed up room 30....big thank you to partner teacher who at multiple times kept saying "you have to keep going."  I waited to do most of the work until after the students left on Thursday.  I didn't want an empty bare room for my last few days with them.  I made multiple trips to my car packing all my beloved teaching stuff in it.  I fell up the stairs once :-D always a good way to start the last day of in-service.

During Friday's in-service meeting, the superintendent said "I can't believe the school year is over! It feels like we were just in the library having our first in-service of the year."  It struck me as a blessing.....I was there for that first day also.  I spent most of my school year in this building working along side this fantastic staff.  Thankfully I didn't start to cry at this point!

And then, the elementary principal said something about "You don't know where you are going to be a year from now."  Boy is she right.  Boy I had no idea how right she was going to be...

Partner teacher helped me with the last load, shut my car door and and told me not to cry too much on the way home....hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA how about the whole ride?!

That was Friday.  Saturday was a mopying day, Sunday was a "get ready for new job" day.

Monday........three days after I said goodbye to my fifth graders; goodbye to teaching every day for sure....I started a job as a day camp counselor.  I won't lie....I didn't really want a summer job.  That's a different blogging topic.  When Monday rolled around I was more positive about it.

I enjoyed the first day of camp...things went relatively well.  The summer kids do not enjoy structure.

I came home and my world stopped.  Husband man got a new job.  We're moving....we have less than 2 weeks now.  We'll be moving closer to my family, which will be nice, but farther from his.  It will be too far to teach at the school I spent almost every day at this past year.  It means I start all over.  Praying desperately for my own classroom and always knowing in the back of my mind I'll be subbing.

My first week of summer was spent working 40 hours at camp, crying both to and from camp, trying to be excited, dreading the last day we spend in our nut hut, and just wondering why now? This newbie teacher doesn't like change....and the last two weeks have been nothing but change.

We're in the process of finding a new home; we have a rental for when we go initially.  Baby pup is going to have to wear a barking collar while we're there so she doesn't disturb the neighbors.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll get a job this year.....