Educents

Have you seen this great website yet??  I am excited to check out their deals each day!

http://app.signalhq.com/form/sweepstakes/5660

Check out this awesome giveaway they are running!! Be sure to check back each day because they offer great teaching materials with wonderful discounts!

I'll be back soon with a classroom update!!

Happy Saturday!

Meghan

march currently...

I am listening to a mix I called "Over the Rainbow".  Mellow songs given to me by a friend :)

I am loving the fact that I had an eye doctor's appointment.  We're discussing LASIK.

Plus I got to order new glasses....who doesn't love a new look?!

I am thinking about how I can make tomorrow better.  My students stretch me daily.

Most of the time I don't know how to handle their very autistic banter.
Nor do I quite know what to do with my student who is refusing to write anything....ugh?!

I am wanting to relax.  You know, massage, long bath, someone make dinner for me,

have an already clean house, quite time alone....that kind of relax.

I am needing to hold a baby.  My sister-in-law is pregnant with her first and a few

other people I know have had/are having babies recently.  While husband man and I
aren't there yet, I go through these periods when I just want to sit and rock a baby.
There is something that happens, I think it's "world stopping" and it gives me perspective.
Reminds me of the important things, you know?

My first name is Meghan.  So my like, love, and hate had to start with "M".  I like making food,

baking or cooking.  I love mellow music.  I am a bit of a music snob in that I am pretty picky
about the style of music I listen to when, but it makes me feel alive.  I hate Mondays.  Not because
I have to start another week at work, but usually with my students it is their worst day.  Every
Monday, I have to undo the weekend routine and reinstate the school routine.
They just end up feeling like terribly long days :)

Head on over to Oh'Boy Fourth Grade to link up for March's Currently!

Stretches, meltdowns, fevers, and drinks....

What do all of those have in common??

My day. My Monday!

I spent the weekend sick with the flu on the couch. Boy was t a doozy. I'm a terribly big baby when it comes to being sick. I whine and cry and mope around. And for two full days I laid on the couch and did just that. I had a low grade fever that would come and go but never broke. Until today.

When I woke up this morning, I still had my beautiful chest cough, but hardly any body aches. I was thankful! I knew I needed to be ready for school today. Who knows what Monday will bring. (And had I known, I would have called in sick and stayed curled up under my warm down comforter.) I was feeling pretty good and went to school a bit early even. 

I had everything ready for our day. K was going to work in his special zone with is aid today. I was ready to tackle T who has refused to do work unless he gets to type it. Ugh. But I was ready.

Then the day started. By 9:15, K was in the quiet room refusing to work. And by 9:30 T was in the other quiet room refusing to do work. And that's when I stopped being "ready" for today. I only have 5 kids and two of them were refusing to work. 

And so it went...k and t refusing to do work. My aide and I back and worth bouncing two refusing children with the three that were working. 

Lunch came and went and the afternoon was on the downhill. I don't know much about Autism, but something I have come to learn in my few months in this world, sometimes kids need to have a HUGE meltdown in order to focus and move on with their day. So my aide and I decided it was time to make K work until he finished or else had his meltdown.  Meltdown it was.  

The meltdown lead to a therapeutic hold.  Ready for this, K stretched my shirt! I couldn't believe it. He so such a strong kid, and I lost my hold on his arm and BAM he had my shirt and stretched the neck. After recovering the hold, I looked at my aide and said "I'm going to need a new shirt". I have never been more thankful that I am a daily wearer of tank tops under every shirt than I was today. Meltdown finished and K recovered, I found a tshirt to finish the day in.  In the middle of the hold, because K is such a fighter and a very strong 14 year old boy, my fever broke in the middle of my sweat, and I honestly started to feel better!

K came around and finished his work. T eventually came around and did most of it. I am planning something new for him tomorrow. My aide had the brilliant idea of rewarding our 3 that had been such good workers for the day...they got ice cream sundaes :) 

Now about the drinks? Most (well, I'm pretty sure all) of my colleagues drink.  They joke about how I need to start in order to survive. And honestly, I thought about it today. Around 10 am when I was watching my classroom fall apart.  I sat in my office at my desk and cried. My aide walked in, put a hand on my shoulder and simply said "Don't cry.".  It took me back to fifth grade when my partner teacher told me how important it is for me to hold it together and be strong for my kids, they can't see me break down.  So I followed both their advice, and stopped crying and was strong for my kids the rest of the day.  Then I came home, laid down for a bit, and made dinner.  All while drinking my boring unflavored water. I think I might get some cranberry juice tomorrow, but for now, I'm not giving in to the very strong urge ( and encouraging colleagues ) and starting to drink. My kids need me strong and they need the same me every single day.  

Tomorrow is Tuesday.  There's going to be something good in that day too...

Happy teaching!

-M

classroom photo update...

I've been slowly settling in and adjusting the environment of my classroom over the last few months.  I thought it was about time to update the pictures :)  Enjoy!

Behavior & Information Board
This has since changed....a more updated photo soon!

My updated writing center!  Complete with editing marks and PA
grading rubric! The white board is where I write their daily
journal topic.

This [finally] started last week! I added velcro to the open
yellow squares and use their photo to change their jobs each
week.  They were pretty excited to [finally] have classroom jobs!

I had a half-class afternoon a day last week and we created our own story.
This was completed by my three lowest students who are reading on  Dolch Word List
and Second Grade levels.  I was pretty proud of the story they created!!

It's almost Friday....

1....I changed the name of my blog because not all of my posts are solely about teaching, and I don't want to always be a newbie teacher....someday I want to be a great veteran teacher!

2....I also changed my background...I like the new look, at least for now!

3.... Husband man and I are running away for the weekend...starting tomorrow after work. We both are taking Monday off. To say I am looking forward to it is an understatement. We don't even have anything big planned, but I love running away once in a while.

4.... The run away weekend couldn't have come at a better time.

K has begun to transition back into my classroom for as much of the day as he can handle. The amount he can handle depends on the day :) Monday was a HORRID nightmare. He didn't make it through our first rotation before we were escorting him to the quiet room....where he went in and out of for the remainder of the day.  Tuesday was a GREAT day! Such a different child! I was so proud of him! Wednesday we had his IEP meeting...he only had two short trips to the quiet room and was able to send most of the day in my room again. Then we went to leave.....he wasn't able to get on the van. My aide and I were in the quiet room with him for almost twenty minutes until he calmed down. We had to call his mom to drive back for the second time that day to pick him up. By the time she got there, he had cried and exhausted himself to sleep.  I looked in on him frequently and my heart felt something I hadn't felt for a long time. A little tiny bit of emotion. I saw my fourteen year old ASD and ID student curled up on his side sleeping soundly.  Such a different picture than I usually see of him. In those moments I didn't have to be "on guard" or constantly reinforcing or redirecting; I was just a girl who fought the battle of the day and saw the result of a severe autism meltdown: I was exhausted and would wake up stiff the next morning....he had worn himself out to the point of just simply falling asleep.

He had a good day today....until he had to go to the van to go home. He didn't want to. And into melt down mode he went. Mom had to come again. And for a second day, I saw a very heavy child looking very little and just longing for love.

In the middle of today's meltdown he ripped my hair. It hurt. Thankfully I have an enormous amount of thick long hair....no permanent damage. Just a headache a little bruised pride.


My coworkers have been very encouraging this week. I think they see the desperation in my eyes. I think they know I'm running out of steam.  They tell me it will get better...it might take a few years, but they say it does. Someday I'll be able to teach more and my days won't be as filled with behavior modification...or therapeutic holds.

Tomorrow I will go to school and I will do my best with the 6 sweet boys God gave me for this time. Pulled hair, bruised pride, lack of energy, patience, or strength....I will care for them.

Then I will run away for a few days :)

Happy Teaching!!
-M

20 Things About 2012...

The idea for this post came from Walk with me by faith  and Tickled Pink Mandy.  They both did a great job with theirs...hopefully I can review as well.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you have never done before?

*I taught fifth grade

*I survived my first parent-teacher conference

*We bought a puppy :)

*Husband man and I moved our entire home/life

*I started teaching students with Autism Spectrum Disorders

2. Did you keep your New Years Resolutions and did you make any for this year?

*I didn't make any last year

*I don't plan on making any this year

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

*Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die?

*Husband man's grandma....what a sweet lady.  See my post here...

5. What places did you visit?

*West Virginia

*Lots of towns in our home state because of the move

6. What would you like to do in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

*Show more appreciation for the people I'm around.  I suppose just saying thank you for each little thing....just so someone hears it and knows they are appreciated.

7. Which dates will be etched in you mind from 2012 and why?

*January 3rd....first day in my fifth grade classroom

*January 8th...our first wedding anniversary <3

*January 27th...the day we brought our baby pup home and became a family of three

*June 6th...last day with my fifth graders

*June 10th....brothers birthday and the day we found out we were going to move

*July 8th....the day we left our little nut hut

*September 17th....the day we closed and moved into our new home

*December 31st....the day the craziest, most unstable year of my life so far came to a close :)

8. What was you biggest achievement this year?

*Teaching fifth grade ... sounds like a simple concept right? It was harder and much more worth it than I thought it would be. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!

9. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

*Husband man hit his head...ugh....what a story! Thankfully I was pretty healthy and strong this year!

10. What was the best thing you bought?

*My iPad....it's wonderful!
*Our new home...it's an older house and it's not all perfectly level...but the wood work is beautiful.  It has a bay window and a sun room.  It made the crazy move just a little easier!

11. Where did most of your money go?

*School loans and moving

12. What song will always remind you of 2012?

*This is always a hard song for me. I would sing "Somewhere over the rainbow" and the sunshine song to my fifth graders.  But for me...Laura Story's song "Blessings" will always stay close.  There were a lot of tears this year.

13. What do you wish you would have done more of?

*Hugged my fifth graders

*Laughed more this summer through the stress of house hunting/moving/change

14. What do you wish you would have done less of?

*Nothing. It was hard, there were stressful times but I wouldn't eliminate any of it if I could.

15. What was your favorite TV show?

*White Collar

*Bones

*Alias

....I may be a big fan of Netflix!

16. What was the best book you read this year?

*The Help....hands down. I loved it! It took me almost 10 chapters before I really got sucked in, but then I was hooked.

17. What was your favorite film of the year?

*Being a Netflix fan, I watched more movies than I care to admit.  I don't know if I have a favorite one.

18. What did you do on your birthday and how old did you turn?

*It was over a weekend :) So, probably writing lesson plans and planning the next week.  I turned 23. Nothing super exciting!

19. What world event stirred you the most?

*Osama Bin Laden's death....husband man was in the military for a while.  I'll never forget the look on his face when we heard the news.  Justice was finally served.  There was a little glimmer of peace that went across his eyes.

*Sandy Hook School Shooting....the scariest thing that could ever happen during my days as a teacher would be to have someone come and threaten my kids.  There might not be anything I can do to stop them, but I will try.

20. Who was the best new person you met?

*I met a LOT of new people.  When I went from a day to day sub to teaching 5th grade full time I met some amazing teachers...including my partner teacher.  He helped me grow into a stronger teacher and a more balanced one (well...I'm still working on that!). He encouraged me to keep dreaming up lessons and to at least give things a try..."The worst thing that can happen is you dump it part way through and start with something new," he would say. He was right; it was worth it. When we moved and I started my job at the Autism Academy, I worked with an amazing aide!  She has continued to help me with my new group and my most difficult boys.  She is an encouragement to me and always knows when to offer advice!  I couldn't have asked for two better people than these two.

Now....onto 2013.....

I spent three evenings working on this post.  I've never spent that long on one post.  I'm not sure why; I think I wanted it to be extra special.  Prior to this post, I usually would stop remembering when I got to the point of ending 5th grade and having to move.  That's when life got crazy and stressful and some days plain ugly.  This reminded me about a lot of good things that happened; things that I had forgotten about.  It wasn't a horrible year.  There were some rough weeks; but overall I would be crazy if I weren't thankful for all God provided for me, husband man, and our baby pup (who turned 1 a few weeks ago!).  He blessed us through it all; even when I wasn't deserving of the blessing.

Happy New Year!

-M

a new year dawns....

Oh how I don't like change.  Never have and I can't say that I ever have the desire to like it.  Guess I'm a little bit like my current bunch in that way.  January 3, 2013 is going to be so different than January 3, 2012.   I suppose it'll be okay.

I've seen these posts a few times and they look like fun :)  So I thought since tomorrow's going to be different...might as well start today and join my first link up :)  Currently....

That was fun :)  Maybe I'll stay on top of this and continue next month as well.  Happy New Year!

Link up with this awesome blog here:

Happy Teaching!

-M

A day off and a phone call...

It was a blessing to lay in bed until 8 am :) WAHOOOOO sleep and laziness! My baby pup joined me though I think she thought it was play time not lazy time. I was able to go pick my sister up and we've had a great day together! We bought some new nail polish and I now have blue nails (which is crazy for me but I love it!) I made pie crust dough and I'm planning on making it into an apple pie tonight!

In the afternoon I got a phone call from school. We're going to try something new with K because of the amount of meltdowns he is having everyday. So for the next few weeks he will have his own little space in a different room and with someone who can be one on one with him all day everyday. He truly needs this individual constant attention and I can't give it to him with 5 other kids that need me too. So for the next few weeks myself and classroom aide will have 5 sweet boys who we are to focus on. K will be the responsibility of a few others until he is ready to come back into my classroom.

My heart is a bit relieved because I knew my other 5 were suffering, but I didn't know how to be everything to everyone.

God provided. Tomorrow, will be a good day.
Happy teaching!
-M

My sweet boys...

Yes, I do refer to them as "my sweet boys" ... It makes them smile and sadly it might be the only positive verbal love they hear for the remainder of the day.  Some of them do not have the loving and supportive home like I grew up in.
Some of them carry a lot of anxiety.
Some of them are afraid of other students.
Some of them need more positive reinforcement more often than others.

All of them need love.

I always seem to amaze myself when I come to this conclusion (you would think that after the first few times, I would catch on....nope, still amazes me) concerning myself and teaching.

I'm not like a lot of teachers. Somedays that's a good thing and somedays it's not. I'm fairly simple (though I can be terribly confusing) in how I view the world and the humans that live on it.  I have come to the simple conclusion that all anybody really needs is someone to love them.  Not just provide for them physically and/or emotionally....but to truly love them. To be amazed at the things they do week....to provide structure, consequences, and rewards consistently...to be patient with them when they mess up...to hang their artwork on the wall....even if its not the nicest!

Last year my partner teacher was frequently concerned about my attachment to my students. Some days he warned me that I would burn out very quickly or wouldn't be able to move on at the end of the year. I fought him on this because I kept telling him that the attachment and concern I had for my students kept me going and made me work harder to be a good teacher. He was partially right and I was mostly wrong....about one thing.  I couldn't move on.  I struggled through our move and the entire summer with letting go of my 5th graders.  I wasn't planning on not being there this year when I sent them home for the summer. Even when I started the sub position at the autism academy, I still fought it. I didn't belong here. My kids were back there.  What my partner teacher probably didn't realize was that he was preparing me more for my own classroom now than he was in dealing with my classroom then.  I will always care for my students, but I understand the importance of having some detachment.  K wouldn't survive if I couldn't detach myself from him. I am capable of teaching my six sweet 15 year old boys with autism because of the classroom management he taught me how to use consistently.  And because for so many months he showed me how to balance caring for my students but not carrying their burdens. He taught me how to be strong for my kids when they needed me to be able to hold it together. Sure, some nights I bring school home...who doesn't? But most nights I can let my frustration at school.

Today I realized this again. We were in the middle of meltdown #2 of the day, and I was verbal to K and three adults were holding him. Once he started to calm, I had to count to 100...out loud...sheesh, it's a long way from 1 to 100 .... But in the middle of it, thinking back to the mean things K screamed at me in the middle of his anger, and the spit he spewed that was running down my neck, and the bruise that was certain to appear on my leg from him kicking, I realized that I found that balance. I can keep my voice calm for him because he needs me to be calm. I can keep my touch gentle because he needs to feel something kind. I don't take his mean comments personally because I know when he's finished being angry he'll say he's sorry.  I can let go of the morning tantrum so that when the second one comes, I can be strong for him again.....now by the time the 4th one was over, I was out of patience.

I savor the moments when one of them smiles. Ja smiles when I call him my sweet boy. Je loves to have his hands tickled. To really enjoys helping me and is always offering to organize my messy table! Ty just wants one of us to listen to him....and let him make copies...he enjoys tasks and making copies is one of his favorites! M just wants individual attention. K loves cookies and playing tic-tax-toe....See, even when they throw fits; hit; spit; kick; say mean things; and flat out disobey me....I can still love them through it.  Not by giving into them but by teaching them how to become better at using coping skills and making better choices.

I am thankful that God created me to be a teacher. He made me in such a way that I can love these sweet boys and take on their tantrums. He gave me a great partner teacher that I could lead from so that I would be ready for these boys at this time. I don't know how long they will be mine. I don't know how many tantrums I really have the strength to weather, but I know that God has been gracious and faithful in providing me with just the right amount of patience and love for each day. Very much like the manna, He gives me what I need for each day.

And through it all, start to finish, we all just need a little bit of love.  See, love covers a multitude of things.

Tomorrow I have a day off. I plan on sleeping and enjoying a few hours with my beautiful sister. I am thankful for the supportive staff that was encouraging me to take the day to rest. They have been a big help in teaching me how to work with K. I am thankful that every morning we gather as a staff of people and pray for patience and strength.  We pray for safety and health for our kids & staff and we pray that in their most horrid fits, we are able to remain calm and compassionate. Tomorrow I will rest and be ready to finish the week out with my sweet boys! Field trip on Friday...we're going bowling!!

Do you have any stories? I love stories!
Happy teaching!
-m

a boy called K...

Some cookies are tougher to crack than others.  I honestly prefer the puffy soft cookies but I can understand why some people like the hard cookies that have to be dipped into milk in order to have a bite taken out of them.

K is a tough cookie.  It's going to take a lot more than a little milk to crack this kid.  Two meltdowns, three adult men, and one teacher desperately trying to keep her voice calm and 45 minutes later......he was calm enough to walk down to the sensory room on his own.  He didn't make it in time for the van to take him home so his dad had to drove over an hour to come pick him up.  Ruins my after school plans and it ruins his afternoon/early evening because he has to drive so much.

K's a sweet boy with a high pitched voice that sometimes makes me smile.  He's also got a set of lungs any opera singer would be jealous of.  A boy does he know how to wale when he wants to :)

The veteran staff keep telling me "he's a hard one" "it's going to take lots of time" "keep doing what you're doing".....that's great, but how do I keep myself going.  One travel mug of coffee and a low calorie lunch doesn't seem to be cutting it.

Not to mention my family at home...I don't feel like walking my dog (mind you it's also raining...ugh) nor do I feel like attempting the new casserole I had planned to make for dinner tonight.  I definitely don't feel like arguing about why I'm tired....because I had a child screaming and spitting and fighting us for 45 minutes today. Yes, he's a spitter.

I love it.  I thrive on it and during it.  I do have a little bit of pride in the fact that I can keep my voice calm and gentle throughout his fit.  I want to be good for these kids.  I want to learn how to be an excellent teacher of students with autism.  I want to sometime come to a point where I can offer other people suggestions, ideas, tips, comments, and know that I have an idea about what I'm talking about.

I suppose if I stick around long enough, that will happen.  There's a battle in my head.  I idea of starting a growing family and having a baby has been floating around in my mind for a while...husband man's too.  We have a few things we'd like to do first, but we're close to that decision.  But then the bigger decision of whether I stay home or come back to school has to be made.  It's what makes me hesitate about having a baby.  I want both.  I want to be a good Mom and be able to care for my children, but I want to be a good teacher.  I don't want to walk away once I finally get a handle on this crazy Autism disability.  What if I put all of this time and energy into learning how to teach these kids and then just walk away from it?  I'm not okay with that right now.  Most people know one way or the other what they want to do.  I thought I knew. This job changed that.  I know what my family and friends are expecting me to do.  Sometimes I think that's the only reason I would pick that....because I don't know if they would be okay if I chose something else.  But that's a later decision for a day that's not even close.

Now, I'm packing my bag; going home; walking my dog in the rain, and yes, making a casserole for my little tiny family of two....oh, after I go to the Dollar Tree to pick up a large eraser that K was supposed to get for a reward last week :(

Happy Teaching!

-M