It's almost Friday....

1....I changed the name of my blog because not all of my posts are solely about teaching, and I don't want to always be a newbie teacher....someday I want to be a great veteran teacher!

2....I also changed my background...I like the new look, at least for now!

3.... Husband man and I are running away for the weekend...starting tomorrow after work. We both are taking Monday off. To say I am looking forward to it is an understatement. We don't even have anything big planned, but I love running away once in a while.

4.... The run away weekend couldn't have come at a better time.

K has begun to transition back into my classroom for as much of the day as he can handle. The amount he can handle depends on the day :) Monday was a HORRID nightmare. He didn't make it through our first rotation before we were escorting him to the quiet room....where he went in and out of for the remainder of the day.  Tuesday was a GREAT day! Such a different child! I was so proud of him! Wednesday we had his IEP meeting...he only had two short trips to the quiet room and was able to send most of the day in my room again. Then we went to leave.....he wasn't able to get on the van. My aide and I were in the quiet room with him for almost twenty minutes until he calmed down. We had to call his mom to drive back for the second time that day to pick him up. By the time she got there, he had cried and exhausted himself to sleep.  I looked in on him frequently and my heart felt something I hadn't felt for a long time. A little tiny bit of emotion. I saw my fourteen year old ASD and ID student curled up on his side sleeping soundly.  Such a different picture than I usually see of him. In those moments I didn't have to be "on guard" or constantly reinforcing or redirecting; I was just a girl who fought the battle of the day and saw the result of a severe autism meltdown: I was exhausted and would wake up stiff the next morning....he had worn himself out to the point of just simply falling asleep.

He had a good day today....until he had to go to the van to go home. He didn't want to. And into melt down mode he went. Mom had to come again. And for a second day, I saw a very heavy child looking very little and just longing for love.

In the middle of today's meltdown he ripped my hair. It hurt. Thankfully I have an enormous amount of thick long hair....no permanent damage. Just a headache a little bruised pride.


My coworkers have been very encouraging this week. I think they see the desperation in my eyes. I think they know I'm running out of steam.  They tell me it will get better...it might take a few years, but they say it does. Someday I'll be able to teach more and my days won't be as filled with behavior modification...or therapeutic holds.

Tomorrow I will go to school and I will do my best with the 6 sweet boys God gave me for this time. Pulled hair, bruised pride, lack of energy, patience, or strength....I will care for them.

Then I will run away for a few days :)

Happy Teaching!!
-M

20 Things About 2012...

The idea for this post came from Walk with me by faith  and Tickled Pink Mandy.  They both did a great job with theirs...hopefully I can review as well.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you have never done before?

*I taught fifth grade

*I survived my first parent-teacher conference

*We bought a puppy :)

*Husband man and I moved our entire home/life

*I started teaching students with Autism Spectrum Disorders

2. Did you keep your New Years Resolutions and did you make any for this year?

*I didn't make any last year

*I don't plan on making any this year

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

*Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die?

*Husband man's grandma....what a sweet lady.  See my post here...

5. What places did you visit?

*West Virginia

*Lots of towns in our home state because of the move

6. What would you like to do in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

*Show more appreciation for the people I'm around.  I suppose just saying thank you for each little thing....just so someone hears it and knows they are appreciated.

7. Which dates will be etched in you mind from 2012 and why?

*January 3rd....first day in my fifth grade classroom

*January 8th...our first wedding anniversary <3

*January 27th...the day we brought our baby pup home and became a family of three

*June 6th...last day with my fifth graders

*June 10th....brothers birthday and the day we found out we were going to move

*July 8th....the day we left our little nut hut

*September 17th....the day we closed and moved into our new home

*December 31st....the day the craziest, most unstable year of my life so far came to a close :)

8. What was you biggest achievement this year?

*Teaching fifth grade ... sounds like a simple concept right? It was harder and much more worth it than I thought it would be. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!

9. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

*Husband man hit his head...ugh....what a story! Thankfully I was pretty healthy and strong this year!

10. What was the best thing you bought?

*My iPad....it's wonderful!
*Our new home...it's an older house and it's not all perfectly level...but the wood work is beautiful.  It has a bay window and a sun room.  It made the crazy move just a little easier!

11. Where did most of your money go?

*School loans and moving

12. What song will always remind you of 2012?

*This is always a hard song for me. I would sing "Somewhere over the rainbow" and the sunshine song to my fifth graders.  But for me...Laura Story's song "Blessings" will always stay close.  There were a lot of tears this year.

13. What do you wish you would have done more of?

*Hugged my fifth graders

*Laughed more this summer through the stress of house hunting/moving/change

14. What do you wish you would have done less of?

*Nothing. It was hard, there were stressful times but I wouldn't eliminate any of it if I could.

15. What was your favorite TV show?

*White Collar

*Bones

*Alias

....I may be a big fan of Netflix!

16. What was the best book you read this year?

*The Help....hands down. I loved it! It took me almost 10 chapters before I really got sucked in, but then I was hooked.

17. What was your favorite film of the year?

*Being a Netflix fan, I watched more movies than I care to admit.  I don't know if I have a favorite one.

18. What did you do on your birthday and how old did you turn?

*It was over a weekend :) So, probably writing lesson plans and planning the next week.  I turned 23. Nothing super exciting!

19. What world event stirred you the most?

*Osama Bin Laden's death....husband man was in the military for a while.  I'll never forget the look on his face when we heard the news.  Justice was finally served.  There was a little glimmer of peace that went across his eyes.

*Sandy Hook School Shooting....the scariest thing that could ever happen during my days as a teacher would be to have someone come and threaten my kids.  There might not be anything I can do to stop them, but I will try.

20. Who was the best new person you met?

*I met a LOT of new people.  When I went from a day to day sub to teaching 5th grade full time I met some amazing teachers...including my partner teacher.  He helped me grow into a stronger teacher and a more balanced one (well...I'm still working on that!). He encouraged me to keep dreaming up lessons and to at least give things a try..."The worst thing that can happen is you dump it part way through and start with something new," he would say. He was right; it was worth it. When we moved and I started my job at the Autism Academy, I worked with an amazing aide!  She has continued to help me with my new group and my most difficult boys.  She is an encouragement to me and always knows when to offer advice!  I couldn't have asked for two better people than these two.

Now....onto 2013.....

I spent three evenings working on this post.  I've never spent that long on one post.  I'm not sure why; I think I wanted it to be extra special.  Prior to this post, I usually would stop remembering when I got to the point of ending 5th grade and having to move.  That's when life got crazy and stressful and some days plain ugly.  This reminded me about a lot of good things that happened; things that I had forgotten about.  It wasn't a horrible year.  There were some rough weeks; but overall I would be crazy if I weren't thankful for all God provided for me, husband man, and our baby pup (who turned 1 a few weeks ago!).  He blessed us through it all; even when I wasn't deserving of the blessing.

Happy New Year!

-M

a new year dawns....

Oh how I don't like change.  Never have and I can't say that I ever have the desire to like it.  Guess I'm a little bit like my current bunch in that way.  January 3, 2013 is going to be so different than January 3, 2012.   I suppose it'll be okay.

I've seen these posts a few times and they look like fun :)  So I thought since tomorrow's going to be different...might as well start today and join my first link up :)  Currently....

That was fun :)  Maybe I'll stay on top of this and continue next month as well.  Happy New Year!

Link up with this awesome blog here:

Happy Teaching!

-M