1....I changed the name of my blog because not all of my posts are solely about teaching, and I don't want to always be a newbie teacher....someday I want to be a great veteran teacher!
2....I also changed my background...I like the new look, at least for now!
3.... Husband man and I are running away for the weekend...starting tomorrow after work. We both are taking Monday off. To say I am looking forward to it is an understatement. We don't even have anything big planned, but I love running away once in a while.
4.... The run away weekend couldn't have come at a better time.
K has begun to transition back into my classroom for as much of the day as he can handle. The amount he can handle depends on the day :) Monday was a HORRID nightmare. He didn't make it through our first rotation before we were escorting him to the quiet room....where he went in and out of for the remainder of the day. Tuesday was a GREAT day! Such a different child! I was so proud of him! Wednesday we had his IEP meeting...he only had two short trips to the quiet room and was able to send most of the day in my room again. Then we went to leave.....he wasn't able to get on the van. My aide and I were in the quiet room with him for almost twenty minutes until he calmed down. We had to call his mom to drive back for the second time that day to pick him up. By the time she got there, he had cried and exhausted himself to sleep. I looked in on him frequently and my heart felt something I hadn't felt for a long time. A little tiny bit of emotion. I saw my fourteen year old ASD and ID student curled up on his side sleeping soundly. Such a different picture than I usually see of him. In those moments I didn't have to be "on guard" or constantly reinforcing or redirecting; I was just a girl who fought the battle of the day and saw the result of a severe autism meltdown: I was exhausted and would wake up stiff the next morning....he had worn himself out to the point of just simply falling asleep.
He had a good day today....until he had to go to the van to go home. He didn't want to. And into melt down mode he went. Mom had to come again. And for a second day, I saw a very heavy child looking very little and just longing for love.
In the middle of today's meltdown he ripped my hair. It hurt. Thankfully I have an enormous amount of thick long hair....no permanent damage. Just a headache a little bruised pride.
My coworkers have been very encouraging this week. I think they see the desperation in my eyes. I think they know I'm running out of steam. They tell me it will get better...it might take a few years, but they say it does. Someday I'll be able to teach more and my days won't be as filled with behavior modification...or therapeutic holds.
Tomorrow I will go to school and I will do my best with the 6 sweet boys God gave me for this time. Pulled hair, bruised pride, lack of energy, patience, or strength....I will care for them.
Then I will run away for a few days :)