why change what truly is...

I was never the "pretty girl" or the "athlete of the year" or included in the "popular crowd."  I wanted to be, but truth is I was the "choir singing, piano playing, awkward, yearbook editing girl."  I had friends, most of whom I do not have contact with anymore (some days that makes me sad!).  I desired to be "artsy"; ya know, able to draw and sketch....my doodles didn't even look like anything.  I didn't really like high school at all.  In fact, I counted down my senior year by spending a much time as I could singing and editing the yearbook.  When the yearbook was published our senior year, for the first time ever, some of the "popular kids" spoke to me..WOW it was awesome! haha

Thankfully those years are behind me.  Maybe it's because it's raining outside; or maybe because I am substituting in a high school this week; or maybe it's because my sister is finishing her first year of college and I'm a bit nostalgic....but today I realized that I still desire to be that "popular girl"....just instead of being a girl I want to be a "popular teacher." 

I want the other teachers to enjoy working with me, to admire the time I put into my students and see the passion I have for this.  I want the students to be excited when I'm in their classroom because we'll have a fun day and learn lots of new stuff.  The reality is high school will always be the same...the "popular students" are not going to like any of the teachers.  I'm not going to all the sudden be the most stylish (even when I try really hard to be); I'm not going to wear makeup (even when I have the best intentions of putting it on); I'm not going to say the cool thing (because I wish I could); I'm going to be "that teacher."

The one who puts in the hours, who decorates the classroom, who greets good morning and says good bye every single day.  The teacher who keeps one sweater at school and wears it even if it does not match the outfit she's wearing.  No I will probably never be the skinny, trendy teacher I picture in my head.  But I'm desperately holding on to the fact that beyond those superficial aspects, I am a good teacher who is able to teach her students.  Thankfully elementary students are not as "clicky" as high school!

I spent an hour this morning attempting to create a "cool" blog background and header.  I have given up.  I'll stick with the simple solid colors and a few circles on the backgrounds.  Why change what truly is?  God created me the way I am....the "striving to be modestly stylish, creative but unable to produce art, passionate teacher" and He must have had a purpose behind that.  So here's to my blog that no one follows, with a simply layout and high school dreams of making a difference :)